Uber Dave and His Brilliant Satire Volume VI (104-123)

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 104:

When Liberal/Progressive/Socialists use the phrase “pro-growth” we are speaking of the expansion of a monolithic government leviathan, not the “private sector” where the growth of filthy rich greedy capitalists must be curtailed.

Expanding government is the wisest investment of Amerika’s money because as mentioned earlier only Liberal/Marxist/Progressives have the education and university laboratory experience to spend the peasant rabbles money wisely. (See lesson 30)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 105:

As lesson 40 states in part:

“It is liberals who are possessed with the education and intelligence to not only confer rights but to identify what right there may be, such as the right to an education, a home or healthcare.”

The right to healthcare is paramount because it sets the stage for Liberal/Marxist/Progressives to seize an enormous slice of the so called “private sector” and massively expand the only entity which has the ability to make the healthcare system properly function (government) and it has the added benefit of snatching power from the greedy clutches of rich white capitalists.

Our government is where all rights descend to the peasant rubes who should be eternally grateful to Liberal/Progressive/Socialists for granting them whatever crumbs they receive to make their miserable lives tolerable.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 106:

Mainstream Amerika is mirrored by Hollywood celebrities who reflexively support Liberal/Progressive/Socialists all important investment initiatives and necessary exponential government expansion.

When an over paid actor plays the part of a farmer or cop or whatever it gives them credibility when they pontificate on the needs of hayseed, hick, hillbilly rustics who populate fly-over country.

The ditzy starlets’ and Hollywood hunks celebrity status blinds the simpleton masses with star power glitter and makes Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy much more palatable.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 107:

When, as so often happens, the plans and schemes implemented by Liberal/Marxist /Progressives go awry, we must always be prepared to cover our tracks and shift the blame to the toothless, conservative obstructionists.

Progressive policy is meant to press progress forward, and whatever the minor inconvenience of the effectuation of well-meaning policy that fizzles in the light of the real world must be obscured so that new policy can replace old so that Progressive policy can press progress forward.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 108:

It is axiomatic in party politics that Statist/Socialist/Progressives infiltrate the party of the redneck, rube obstructionists since corrupting from within in one of the things we do best.

Because much of our policy is based on feel good platitudes it is easy to turn many of the sandbagging simpletons in the opposition party to our favor so as to bind ever more of the peasant masses to the all-encompassing State.

We then get the luxury of adulterating the opposition as well as demonizing them concomitantly.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 109:

Have we Statist/Socialist/Progressives failed to mention our necessary open borders policy and the need to paint hillbilly, peasant, rustic, rural, rube obstructionists as racist, xenophobic, necrophobic and opposed to immigration whenever they bleat and wail about “illegal” immigrants?

Were we remiss in crowing and celebrating a fellow traveler activist judge who allowed the signatures of Mickey Mouse and Santa Clause etc. on a petition opening the door for ever more undocumented voters?

Have we overlooked any opportunity to stand four square against any form of verifying the validity of undocumented voters and the purging of voter registration rolls of deceased voters and then rub conservative’s noses in it?

…Our bad.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 110:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives live and die by the poll, we are always waiting with baited breath to see what redneck, yokel, rube masses believe. That is unless they dare to think on their own and ignore our Main Stream News Media indoctrinators.

When the hoi polloi buy into the “lies” and “propaganda” (see lesson 46 and obfuscation) of the obstructionist regressives we must counter them with all of our might. One of the best ways to do this is to immediately attack the poll and its results, no matter if we were spending days prior touting this poll or that, we must savage such polls as meaningless and ignorant.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 111:

Liberal/Progressive/Socialists are charged with painting hayseed, hick, hillbilly obstructionist rubes with the broad brush of “extremist”, note the proliferation of phrases like “extreme right” or “hard right” in the writings of our Main stream Media propagandist kommrads when referencing toothless, knuckle dragging conservatives.

At the same time, also note the absence of “extreme left” or “hard left” from those identical sources. Under no circumstances are we to allow the peasant rubes to turn the tables on us for as we all know left is the natural course of all things political. It is our destiny to rule over the peasant masses and what is natural cannot be considered extreme.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 112:

Liberal/Progressives have coveted the government healthcare of Socialist countries for decades. We’ve done our damnedest to foist it on the hayseed, hick, rustic, yokel obstructionists who have resisted our herculean efforts at every turn.

We have simply picked a facet of socialism which can tug at the heartstrings of the hoi polloi and confuse them into allowing the camel’s nose under the tent. We cannot rest on our laurels when we’ve triumphed with socialized healthcare since the idea is to usurp control of every aspect of the lives of Amerikas simpleton masses.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 113:

In the 1960's Liberal/Progressive/Socialists put as many of Amerika's families on the dole as possible, replacing fathers with a check from the Government and fracturing families. We increased taxes on those we did not put on the dole forcing stay at home mothers to work to make up the loss of income that the taxes represented creating "latch key kids" and fracturing families.

In the 1970's Liberal/Progressive/Socialists demonized corporal punishment and promoted "No Fault" divorces, fracturing families and threatening them if they dared to discipline their children.

In the 1980's Liberal/Progressive/Socialists created the "Year of the Child" and promoted their "Self Esteem" whether or not the children had done anything worthy of esteem.

Now, decades later, when you see the cretins that Liberal/Progressive/Socialist policy has turned Amerika's children into, remember that we did it "for the children".

Isn’t it nice to know that halfwit lefties like X.J. can be an inspiration?

Liberalism 101 Lesson 114:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives see the constitution of the United States as what we call a “living, breathing document”. This is a cover we use for molding and shaping the constitution for our own ends for as we all know it was written by dead white slave owners over 200 years ago and none of it applies to the modern nirvana that Liberal/Progressive/Socialists seek to create to improve the lives of all Amerikans.

It is for the purpose of expanding the power and reach of the federal leviathan that Liberal/Marxist/Progressives seek to populate the Supreme Court and all of its lower federal court system with as many of our fellow travelers as we can so that they can find whatever Liberal/Progressive/Socialists need to negate the constitution emanating from its penumbra.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 115:

SUPPLY-SIDE ECONOMICS, for Liberal/Marxist/Progressives, overcoming this evil is the key to making Amerika whole and good again! Heaven forefend that under educated, hayseed, hick, rustic, yokel bumpkin’s be allowed any more than a stipend to get by with since their share of the shared sacrifice has been determined to be equal to whatever excess they have jingling in their pockets.

We know they would only spend that excess on guns, cigarettes and over-sized soft drinks and it is our mission to tax and regulate the peasant rubes in order to keep them from harm. Statist/Socialist/Progressives must insure the creation of a COMMAND ECONOMY so that the purchasing power and purchasing choices of the simpleton masses can be limited to what we deem should be allowed.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 116:

It is helpful to the cause of Statist/Socialist/Progressives to invoke the myths of the peasant rubes in order to manufacture benevolence to fit our goals. When we make the claim that we rob from the rich to give to the poor like Robin Hood or that Marxism is a form of Christian charity, it masks as compassion the malevolence we have toward all of the lowly oafs who are unfit to wipe our shoes.

What grand irony it will be when Liberal/Marxist/Progressives put in place the final measure of control and replace feeble, mythical deities with the Great God of Government even while the simpleton masses and useful idiots view it as “feel good” compassion.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 117:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives believe wholeheartedly in furthering a young person’s education (indoctrination) but the cost of a college education is very high, courses in basket weaving, Marxist theory, Gay History and Women’s Studies are as costly as they are important. But having Amerika’s young people work their way through college is as passé as a smoking section in a restaurant.

But since there is nothing unworthy of federal largess Statist/Socialist/Progressives will endeavor to create a myriad of subsidies for young college students just as we do for everything else. One of these subsidies is the “government guaranteed loan” but as with all such guarantees it is only meant to guarantee that simpleton, mouth breathing, peasant, rube taxpayer’s will wind up holding the bag.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 118:

When Statist/Socialist/Progressives are rejoicing, it is an ironclad guarantee that it is because another measure of the under educated, rube, simpleton, mouth breathing, peasant, hayseed, hick, rustic, yokel bumpkin’s precious “liberty” has been destroyed.

As we all know liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 119:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives will always and consistently invoke the name of Adolph Hitler and his fascist cronies when arguing with hayseed, hick, rustic obstructionists, most especially if it appears that we are being made fools of in such an argument.

Never mind that we were once fellow traveler’s of the National Socialists and that there is not the slightest difference between our goals and theirs.

It is just a simple fact of life that two totalitarian regimes cannot co-exist.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 120:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives feign enormous compassion for the peasant rube masses when in fact we loathe them. The simple minded masses are in fact wholly incapable of any capacity to provide for themselves and so we have created a massive and exponentially growing government Nanny to look after them as one would a petulant, retarded child.

Our Soviet and Maoist ancestors eliminated millions of their peasant class through the expedient of the point of a gun but with the stalled disarming of America’s simpleton rubes we must tread lightly until we have achieved success.

In the mean time we will have to make do with aborting their off spring and forcing them into a State controlled “health” system where bureaucrats will let them twist in the wind and rot until they die. That way there will be fewer of them to deal with by the time we have completed disarming them and our Gulags and re-education camps are up and running.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 121:

As Liberal/Marxist/Progressives a part of our task in promoting and achieving our Stalinist/Maoist goals is to obfuscate and mask our intent as well as equate malevolence with benevolence.

Just as we must invoke the myths of the peasant rubes in order to manufacture benevolence to fit our goals and thus baffle the simpleton masses, we must also invoke European “Socialist Lite” as if the Statist/Socialist/Progressives over there have never used incrementalism as a path to the Worker’s Paradise”.

A Soviet Amerika via French Socialism is still a Soviet Amerika. (See lesson 116)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 122:

The peasant rube obstructionists are the personification of evil, as Liberalism 101 Lesson 1 states:

“If you scream because we have gotten to the point of squeezing blood from a turnip, then you are evil.”

Peasant rube obstructionist’s unwillingness to pay for preferred Liberal/Marxist/Progressive investment initiatives converts them into the so called “freeloaders” whom the rustics in flyover country abhor, through the simple expedient of instructing our useful idiot minions to repeat the assertion ad nauseum.

The simpleton class is easily confused and turning the tables on their rhetoric is a perfect way to baffle them.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 123:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives have long ago usurped conservation and transformed it into Environmentalism, a vehicle for implementing Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy under the rubric of keeping the environment clean.

Despite our best effort though, several of our Liberal/Progressive/Socialist leaders have let slip that fact and Amerika’s obstructionist redneck conservative simpletons have mined quotes from our stalwart leaders to use as a cudgel to hammer us and stall our efforts to eliminate the human infestation that threatens our Mother Earth.

But the simplest method of retaliation against the rustic rabble is to accuse them of being against clean air and water.

Uber Dave

Uber Dave Volumes:

Uber Dave and His Brilliant Satire Volume V (83-103)

"Please relax," said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines, one of which is on fire, "you are perfectly safe."
Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 83:

Multiple layers of government regulations are the mainstay Liberal/Marxist/Progressives bureaucratic control over the mythical private market. Conservative obstructionist rubes regularly assign blame to the helpful and necessary government intervention we create to level the playing field but that is because they have neither the Ivy League education and intelligence or theoretic experience to realize that government is here to help us.

If for any reason government regulation may seem to fail or be the cause economic distress that is because, in a similar sense to spending, more regulation and the helpful bureaucrats who enforce them need to be added.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 84:

When class is in session, we may, from time to time, refer to ourselves variously as “Liberal/Progressive/Socialist” or “Liberal/Marxist/Progressives” as needed for instructional purposes.

But we must admonish students to refrain from referring to themselves or others in leftist circles as such. We’ve all heard the old cliché “honesty is the best policy”…

…Except for liberals, not so much.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 85:

Liberals incessantly vilify the “rich” as greedy people who have taken money from the poor (which in truth belongs to the people) in order to hoard it all for themselves, never thinking of the greater good. And so the State must relieve them of all of that cash and “spread the wealth around.”

Therefore we must hold 3,500 dollar per plate dinners in order to perpetuate power so that we can achieve our aim of a true socialist utopia though our Marxist/Leninist policy.

If this appears hypocritical, refer to lesson 33.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 86:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives must never accept responsibility for whatever harm Marxist/Leninist policy might cause.

Instead we must always blame any and everything on the hayseed bumpkins who resist our efforts to fundamentally change Amerika into the socialist paradise it was always meant to be.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 87:

Liberal/Progressive’s have always insisted that there be a government provided safety net among the many, many things that government should provide.

After several generations, the unfortunates whom Liberals are trying to help in times of dire need may seem to be encamped on that safety net with comfy government provided cushions and fluffy pillows. If the Redneck/Hick/Bumpkin class takes note of that, they could cause problems by pointing it out to the general proletariat who are charged with funding the programs that Liberal/Progressive’s deem necessary. This might cause an angry backlash.

Whenever this happens, Standard Operating Procedure is to simply call them “mean spirited” and distract the hoi polloi by accusing the obstructionists of wanting to take seniors Social Security and Medicare away.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 88:

As lesson 45 makes abundantly clear, the lie is the Liberal/Progressive/Socialists friend. This allows Liberal/Progressive/Socialists to pad their resumes to enhance their ability to both gain political office and maintain them once they are entrenched.

One important way to do this is to exaggerate any military experience even though Liberal/Progressive/Socialists are discouraged from entering into such service because America’s military is a force for projecting evil, for some unknown reason, the hayseed, hick peasants value it in a politicians resume so we feel free to call ourselves a “combat veteran” even though we might have only manned a desk at some outpost in Peoria.

In that vein it also helps to claim minority status no matter if we are blue eyed blond haired and lily white.

Remember that the word any in “by any means necessary” is specific.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 89:

Rich people are intrinsically evil; all of their filthy money is made off of the backs of the “poor”.

Even though many Liberal/Progressive/Socialists have millions or even billions they never qualify as “evil rich” since much of that money is spent to ensure that the truly evil rich are relieved of as much of their wealth as possible so as to equalize income. (See lesson’s 33 and 57)

It is the sacred task of Liberal/Progressive/Socialists to share the wealth of the evil rich but that of our own is reserved to bring about the happy day for all when the Marxist Utopia brings the proletariat peasant rubes into line.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 90:

No matter how hideous a Liberal/Progressive/Socialist may seem to the knuckle dragging, hayseed Neanderthals. He or she must be constantly described by us and our main stream media komrads as the reincarnation of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln or the like.

The peasant rubes have short memories and are easily confused.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 91:

As lesson 26 states:

When all else fails, blame Bush.

Or Cheney, if Haliburton is mentioned.

Evoking the infamous “you’re a Nazi” card works well in the same vein when attacking knuckle dragging, hayseed peasant obstructionists.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 92 - Liberal Lexicon:

Attack:
Any time the truth is spoken about Liberal/Progressive/Socialists

Liberalism 101 Lesson 93:

When Liberal/Progressive/Socialists lose elections our marching orders are to attack on three fronts.

First is to lament the loss of our constitutional freedom to expanding government control over the proletariat due to knuckle dragging rustic yokel obstructionists and simultaneously deny anything is out of kilter while at the same time trumpet the fact that Liberal/Progressive/Socialist ideals will prevail in spite a tiny bump in the road.

Liberal/Progressive/Socialists must maintain the pressure on bigoted bourgeois simpletons and keep the faith of our fellow traveler’s as we march in lockstep to a new era of Socialist Statism.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 94:

As lesson 28 states, the American flag is a representation of the evil, hatred, and racism of America which we will use to our advantage until such time we can dispense with it.

So too are other forms of “patriotism” such as our hideous national anthem and support for “our (undereducated peasant) troops”. Liberal/Progressive/Socialists hatred of these types of things is exposed from time to time because keeping heartfelt emotions in check is a difficult task but we must cultivate the façade in order to keep the redneck, hillbilly obstructionists at bay.

Fortunately, as also stated in previous lessons, the peasant rubes have short memories and are easily confused.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 95:

Liberal/Progressive/Socialists prime objective for more than 100 years has been to demonize profit and a key way we have done this is to make workers jealous of anyone who makes a dime more than they do.

As a way to implement this we helped to institute a “progressive” (naturally) income tax which punishes those who would dare to work harder than others since that is unfair to the slovenly.

This in turn will help to create a worker’s paradise where all income can be controlled by Liberal/Progressive/Socialist leaders who (of course) will make much more than anyone because we are the hyper educated gurus who will decide what the simple minded masses will be allowed to have.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 96:

As liberalism 101 lesson 17 states in part: “…By any means necessary means by ANY means.”

This phrase “by any means necessary” is designed to give cover to Liberal/Progressive/Socialists in reaching their intended goals, not only can it be deployed to provide ambiguity to the inherent dishonesty required to bluff our way past the under educated peasant rube obstructionists but (of course) any other means which may come to mind as well, the key word being “any”.

This leaves opened a door in which we as Liberal/Progressive/Socialists can justify whatever our fertile imaginations can conjure. Murder, theft, larceny, fraud, even muffling free speech “rights”, whatever, it’s all good when you are endeavoring to create a joyous Marxist worker’s paradise.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 97:

Collecting revenue is an important component of Liberal/Marxist/Progressive philosophy where punishing those who have become winners of life’s lottery and are in the possession of an unfair excess is paramount.

There is literally nothing we will not consider when striving to relieve the peasant masses of their overabundance, by demonizing CO2; we have even found a way to tax the very air that they breathe.

Be aware that the taxation of something has absolutely nothing to do with the funding of any government services or preferred Liberal/Marxist/Progressive investment initiatives but is, instead, purely for the purpose of the over-riding and fundamental aim of “fairness”. (See Lesson 47)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 98:

The law is an ephemeral thing for liberals. Settled law such as the sacrosanct and inviolate right of women to privacy and to choose is to be adhered to strictly and without fail, others, not so much.

Liberal/Progressive/Socialists will issue diktats on which law we are to obey even as we send our minions out to rabble rouse and break laws. While this may seem contradictory, it is indeed not since Liberal/Marxist/Progressives are above such minute things as the law.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 99:

Americans have nothing to fear from Liberal/Progressive/Socialists since we not only want what is best for all Americans but know what is best for them as well.

Specifically, that is an omniscient, beneficent and infallible government that will meet their every need and desire with layer upon layer of expanding bureaucracies and phalanx’ of amicable bureaucrats working to provide for them as well as a myriad of government regulations designed to keep them safe from harm.

Who could be afraid of that?

Liberalism 101 Lesson 100:

The zeal effort and energy with which the Liberal/Marxist/Progressives are to defend the hideously indefensible must be boundless.

We are on a mission to transform the abnormal into the normal so as to create a wreckage of society so that we can rebuild it into the society our founders (Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Che, etc.) envisioned

Liberalism 101 Lesson 101 (The Irony):

Following the Liberal/Marxist/Progressive goal of “fairness” our hearts bleed for the simpleton peasant class and one of our main concerns is “income inequality”.

Since no one should have more than anyone else it goes without saying that no one should make more than anyone else, so Liberal/Marxist/Progressives have determined that lowering everyone’s income to whatever stipend we believe they can get by with is both compassionate and fair.

The more of the peasant class that we can have receiving that stipend from government at the expense of the toothless, rustic, hillbilly obstructionist rabble who dare to greedily take more than others the better.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 102:

It is a vulgar inequity to accuse Liberal/Progressive/Socialists of imbibing in various chemical substances just because we advocate their legalization.

It is not so much that our apparently insane policy ideas germinate in the fertile ground of a drug soaked mind (which indeed they do) but that they are indispensable for keeping the peasant class lulled into complacency.

Plus, when consumed by the already feeble minded, illicit drugs help to create even more useful idiots whom we can recruit to help implement our goals. (See lesson 43)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 103:

Demonstrating that a Liberal/Progressive/Socialist is wrong is one of the most insufferable acts the peasant hoi polloi can do.

But our inherent dishonesty allows us to ignore them with impunity. A condescending and arrogant reply to the rustic rabble will subdue and confound them as we continue with our drive towards a shining and glorious Marxist /Utopian future

Uber Dave

Uber Dave Volumes:

Uber Dave and His Brilliant Satire Volume IV (62-82)

"What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer." Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 62 - Liberal Lexicon:

Transparent: “Clear as mud”

Liberalism 101 Lesson 63 - Liberal Lexicon:

Drain the swamp:
“What? And have us guardians of all things environmental be accused of destroying a ‘wetland’?”

Liberalism 101 Lesson 64 - Liberal Lexicon:

Most ethical congress ever:
“Say, would you be interested in some beach front property in Arizona for a great price?”

Liberalism 101 Lesson 65:

Unions are the shining crown of liberal pet organizations because of their reflexive support for Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy.

Although this relationship may seem incestuous it must be maintained for the purpose of keeping the economy sound since money flows from unions to liberal politicians and vice versa employing many in our state and federal governments in the quest to further Liberal/Marxist/Progressive goals.

If anyone dares to oppose these efforts fine upstanding union employees will ensure that not one scorched stone of their lovely homes will remain standing.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 66 - Liberal Lexicon:

Investment:
“The confiscation of monies from the unwilling in order to fund what they neither want nor believe in.”

Liberalism 101 Lesson 67 - Liberal Lexicon:

Reactionary:
“A word borrowed from our founding fathers (Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Engels et al) and used as a cudgel to bash yokels whenever they recoil in horror from the necessary policy meant to bring about “fundamental change”.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 68 - Liberal Lexicon:

Rights:
Anything that requires liberals to put forth an effort or capital to acquire that can more easily be confiscated by government force.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 69:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy wanes from time to time because of unwarranted obstructionism by mind numbed, toothless rubes who lack the intelligence to realize what’s in their best interest.

And to counter this liberals have created the “protest”.

This is where we hire union thugs and useful idiots to throw a tantrum so insane that it frightens the peasant class into submission.

We prefer to work under cover of darkness but we do what we must to ensure the Liberal/Marxist/Progressive utopian future. (See lessons 65 and 43)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 70:

When referencing sources be sure to use only the most credible and unimpeachable of sources.

This would include Ivy League University web sites, Wikipedia and anything affiliated with the Huffington Post.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 71:

Education is very important for all Amerikan citizens, although also important is what precisely that education consists of which is why liberals have co-opted every facet of education from daycare to college graduation with Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy as science, history, and every other conceivable subject.

Turning Amerika’s children into legions of useful idiots will help pave the way for the inevitable Liberal/Marxist/Progressive utopia.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 72:

As already noted in the liberal lessons, deception is instrumental in achieving Liberal/Marxist/Progressive goals (this is something that our knuckle dragging Neanderthal opponents refer to as “lying”, a term we are only allowed to use in reference to when they expose the truth about our intentions, see also “hate”) but a part of that deception is compromising with our opponents as a means to an end.

It is essential though to never actually act on any compromise since uneducated rubes have very short memories.

When from time to time they catch on, we must simply accuse them of “hating” and press on.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 73 - Liberal Lexicon:

Bipartisan support:
A term for describing when the peasant rubes cave in to our Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 74:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressive’s must help support and defend our progressive income tax code at all costs and deny or ignore the fact that lower taxes bring in more revenue.

For liberals, taxes serve the purpose of punishment of “achievement” and are not for the collection of revenue. It is far more important to make ever more people dependent on government than it is to fund government. Punishing those who unfairly excel above others cannot but leave them no alternative but to turn, as is only just, to government to make ends meet but prevents others from opting to do the same for fear that liberals, as is only fair, will simply confiscate their ill-gotten gains as well.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 75:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressive’s must demand apologies whenever a conservatives actions become near to being as bereft of civility as our own. We, however are never to apologize because being a Liberal/Marxist/Progressive means never having to say you are sorry.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 76:

“Cause and effect” is a mythical notion that can never be applied to Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy and idea based solutions gained through decades of academic thought and theory.

If at first Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy and idea based solutions appear not to work, it must be because either more thought and taxpayer funds must be given to the subject or the right people have yet to apply them.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 77:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives believe whole-heartedly in the free expression of ideas.

Unless they are expressed by anyone with an opposing viewpoint, then they must be silenced.

Our standard label for any and all opposing viewpoints is, of course, “hate speech”.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 78:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives adamantly insist that the global warming consensus is all the proof needed to push the hayseed rubes into the kind of vehicles they know deep down that they must be driving.

But since the kind of vehicles that liberals drive (electric and/or hybrids) are reserved exclusively for Liberal/Marxist/Progressives to ride in as they thumb their noses (and righteously so) at the hoy palloi, the vehicles that the peasant rubes will finally wind up with will be powered by the peasant rubes themselves (i.e. walking, bicycles, rickshaws and so forth).

Liberalism 101 Lesson 79:

Unemployment must be ignored by liberals as a general rule except to blame industrialists/capitalists as the root cause of it.

It is of great help to the liberal’s Marxist/Utopian goals to create as much unemployment as possible without creating a backlash against us. With the peasant rubes in a mild uproar about their plight liberals can obfuscate and demonize our opponents and graft ever more of the masses to the saving grace of an exponentially expanding government dole. Ignorant hayseed bumpkin’s will be shown the light and view liberals as their benefactors and come to see industrialist employers as the greedy exploiters that they are.

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives call this a win-win scenario.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 80:

As noted in lesson 32, liberals are committed to creating as many voters as possible in order to maintain power.

It is for that reason that we must oppose voter I.D. laws to the point of absurdity.

These unconstitutional laws must not only be characterized as racist and xenophobic but necrophobic as well.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 81:

Our sense of entitlement as Liberal/Marxist/Progressives is vast, insatiable and expansive.

Not only are we entitled to a portion of everyone’s income, we are also entitled to things that can only be acquired through taking an even greater portion of peoples income.

Perish the thought that we should ever have to put forth an effort to do so without government intervening on our behalf, after all, isn’t our government here to help US?

Of course, if there is not enough income producer’s to go around, just borrow it from their great, great grandchildren since they must have a share in the sacrifice too.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 82:

Hate is a very useful descriptive word in the vocabulary of Liberal/Marxist/Progressives and covers a multitude of sins committed by knuckle dragging hayseed/yokel conservative obstructionists.

Absolutely any opposition of opinion and action by the hillbilly class must be construed as hate because only the hateful could stand in opposition to a brighter utopian future.

Uber Dave

Uber Dave Volumes:

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Uber Dave and His Brilliant Satire Volume Volume III (41-61)

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 41:

Liberals are to keep “the rich” under constant assault and any defense of them by conservatives is to be deemed “reactionary”. As the song says: “Tax the rich, feed the poor, ‘til there are no rich any more”. (See lesson 1)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 42:

The default mode of liberals in times of war:

Run to Canada.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 43:

As liberals our work to create a Marxist utopia requires an allegiance with nefarious minions sent out to do our dirty work who are universally known as "useful idiots".

We apologize for that necessity but take heart; we all know the fate of the useful idiots once the work is complete.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 44:

Bigot is a word liberals use to define those who refuse to toe our Politically Correct line. What we define as correct is to be adhered to robotically without exception.

Any liberal’s tendency towards apparent bigotry such as our incessant vilification of Christianity is indeed not bigotry since, as in the word hypocrisy, it is not applicable to liberals or our dictates. (See lesson 31)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 45:

Liberals may seem impervious to facts but that is not so, since there are no absolutes, we have the all-knowing intelligence and education to conjure our own facts.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 46:

The lie is a TOOL to liberal leaders who use them at their convenience for the purpose of GAINING, MAINTAINING AND PREPETUATING POLITICAL POWER. In fact the lie has so many forms that to be exact there is indeed a TOOL BOX from which they pull a specific tool for any specific situation as required.

DECEPTION, DISINFORMATION, DISTORTION, EVASION, FALSIFICATION, FRAUDULENCE, INACCURACY, LIBEL, MISREPRESENTATION, OBFUSCATION, SUBTERFUGE and VILIFICATION populate the toolbox and liberal leaders must educate our minions in their use.

Liberals must take special note of obfuscation in their work towards a Marxist/Progressive America. Accusing conservative obstructionists of being guilty of some of the very same and necessary things we do in our quest keeps them off balance and on the defensive.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 47:

Fairness is the major driving force in Liberal/Progressive/Marxist ideology.

If anyone is possessed of a means of defense it is unfair to those who would take his other possessions to be thwarted by said means of defense since it is unfair that those who would take those possessions from others are deprived of possessions of their own and therefore are forced to take the others possessions so as to equalize the distribution of possessions in order to be fair.

Liberals alone are the ones with the intelligence and education to determine what is and is not fair. (See lesson 30)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 48:

Liberals have long established that there must be a scorched earth policy regarding strong opposition, most especially if that opposition threatens power Liberal/Marxist/Progressives already have seized.

The importance of our quest to fundamentally change America from a constitutional republic to a Marxist utopia is so great that we must not only defeat strong opposition at the ballet box, but we must also destroy such opposition so completely that the obstructionists can never run again.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 49:

When liberals pass bills in congress they are to be given titles that will keep the peasant class subdued.

A classic is our often used “jobs bill”. Although this is meant to sound pleasing to the riff-raff masses so that we can go about our business of fundamental change undisturbed it also has the further use of not only paying off unions and political allies but expanding the scope and size of government as well. (See lessons 21, 19, 9 and 2)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 50:

Liberals must always characterize their necessary expansion of the government and the bureaucrats it creates as kind people who toil in public service. But we must obscure the fact that multiple layers of bureaucracy tends to serve the public poorly.

If the peasant class complains about such pitifully poor service as bureaucrats have become infamous for then we must admonish them for not valuing public service.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 51:

The “poor” are only what liberals classify them as, they may have two cars, a large house with multiple TV sets or whatever, it is our task to both deem them poor and to keep them perpetually poor and to create as many poor out of the middle class as we can despite our having spent trillions on them in the past and our intent on relieving taxpayers of trillions more to spend on the poor.

Note that in relieving the peasant class of the trillions it takes for us to equalize distribution of wealth to the poor makes even more people poor which is our ultimate goal.

The purpose has never been with compassion for the poor but with malice toward the peasant class. The purpose has always been to expand the state by making ever more people dependent on it and to have access to an enormous revenue stream that enables us to siphon off large sums to help elect more liberals in our quest to expand the state.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 52:

Thou shalt print endless amounts of graven images when thou hast spent all thy treasure (See 21)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 53:

“Shared sacrifice” is a term liberals use to justify relieving the peasant class of their earnings.

Its use is for shaming the peasant rubes into shouldering the burden of even more confiscation of their earnings than they already endure because liberals need to spread around those earnings for a higher purpose. (See lesson 1)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 54:

Homosexuals are deviants who have been given a most favored status by liberals so as to cause a spreading of deviancy throughout society. This in turn will lead to a breakdown of society and pave the way for the fundamental change to a Marxist Progressive utopia.

Once the fundamental change has taken place homosexuals will be sent to Gulags as “undesirables” since their detriment to society will have been made apparent. (See lesson 43)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 55:

If a result can be derived via common sense, the Liberal will claim that it is too simplistic.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 56:

The notion of “self-governance” is as old and out dated as the tattered document concocted by dead white slave owners.

We live now in a new world where men of science and education hold the keys to a brighter future in Progressivism and to allow under educated bumpkin’s to have any say in their own governance will only delay our Progressive goals unnecessarily.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 57:

“Private property rights” are yet another tired abstraction that is at odds with the liberals progressive ideal. Property whether cash, land, structures, vehicles or whatever cannot be seized by the state for the purpose of advancing Progressive policy if yokels are possessed by the notion that such property is theirs by some vague “right”

It should be well known that all property belongs to the state where people who transcend rights by dent of their natural superiority best know who to relieve of those “rights” so that they can be bestowed on the more deserving.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 58:

Ruling class/country class as has been coined has its merits since we are destined to rule because of our natural moral and intellectual superiority.

Country class, however, does not quite hit the mark though. We are considering:

Redneck class, bumpkin class, clodhopper class, hayseed class, hick class, hillbilly class, and yokel class. When we come to a decision as to which best suits our purpose we will inform.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 59:

Liberals must maintain power at all costs and to that end the subsidy is one of our primary tools.

The subsidy is used primarily as a bribe to industry to produce things that nobody wants but that liberals deem useful. The subsidized industries can then use the subsidy to hire lobbyists and to donate to Liberal/Marxist/Progressive political candidates so that they can get more subsidies.

Subsidies have the added benefit of being tempting to the political opponents of we Liberal/Marxist/Progressives to use for the same reasons, allowing us to demonize them as hypocrites. (See lesson 33)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 60:

Neocon is a term liberals use to brand conservatives as not really conservative when in fact we are opposed to any kind of conservatism anywhere.

Branding someone a Neocon is a sure way to confuse and confound the peasant masses that support conservative politicians. We must do all we can to block the peasant rubes from supporting those who might dismantle the progress we have made towards a brighter utopian future.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 61:

Liberal politicians are the water carriers of Ruling class/Marxist/Progressive policy and must be protected at all costs given the importance of the fundamental change liberals seek to correct America’s evil and abusive bigoted, hateful, racist and xenophobic history.

Peasant rabble may rise up from time to time if our political leaders take advantage of the perks that liberals are rightfully due or because they fail to grasp the need for fundamental change.

But like a herd of cattle the peasant rabble are stupid and easily led by the nose. We need only change the subject; say what we are doing is “for the children” or hunker down and wait for them to forget.

Never under any circumstance are we to admit to wrong doing for nothing in the pursuit of a Marxist/Socialist/Progressive utopia can ever be considered wrong.

Uber Dave

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Uber Dave and His Brilliant Satire Volume Volume II (21-40)

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannotpossibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 21:

Thou shalt not believe in any other God except the Great God, thy government.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 22:

As a practicing Liberal / Progressive / Socialist it is imperative that you avoid the temptation to think. At all costs, you must not take into consideration facts, science, economic history, political history or simple math because these areas of information and thought will only lead you astray.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 23:

The military is where many conservatives enlist, go through boot camp and learn leadership, responsibility and how to deal with the harsh realities of life.

College is boot camp for liberals where liberal professors teach them how to avoid leadership, responsibility and how to blame with the harsh realities of life on conservatives.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 24:

Fetus is a medical term used to describe a lifeless unviable tissue mass from conception to the point of birth when discussing the sacrosanct and inviolate right of women to privacy and to choose.

Endangered species is a term used to describe bait fish, bugs, and rodents that have a clear right to life.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 25:

True patriotism includes thrashing the military because, as we well know, the US military projects America’s evil intent (See Lesson 10).

Liberalism 101 Lesson 26:

When all else fails, blame Bush.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 27:

It is incumbent that all liberals speak and act as if they are foreign policy experts who have America’s best interests at heart.

If a conservative points out that current events or historical facts make a mockery of the previous statement it is to be ignored or defined as “hate speech”.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 28:

Liberal organizations are all charged with advancing our progressive agenda but the masses are notorious for failing to understand - that we labor only for their own good.

Therefore we must wrap the names of these organizations in sheep’s clothing with things like the American flag (a representation of the evil, hatred, and racism of America which we will use to our advantage until such time we can dispense with it). We will use names like “People for the American Way” and “American Civil Liberties Union”, issue vague and flowery literature and keep peasantry lulled into complacency so as to diminish opposition.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 29:

Even while advocating and implementing Marxist/Leninist policy we must deny we are doing so. Deception is key to implementation since the little people are incapable of grasping what is in their best interests. (See lesson #17)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 30:

To establish control over the peasant class - liberals must ensure that they are the ones to define what will be controlled.

To allow toothless rubes to make their own decisions as to what they can eat, drink, buy, smoke, drive or whatever is dangerous and MUST be stopped at all costs. (See lesson 19)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 31:

Detroit is the Petri dish of liberal economics.

We are not ever to acknowledge the third world disaster area it has become, unless it is to blame evil corporations and conservatives. (See lesson 26)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 32:

Liberals are committed to creating as many voters as possible in order to maintain power.

In that endeavor we use many different means such as registering the dead on voter rolls. To that end we must ensure that our open borders policy is kept safe from racist xenophobic conservatives so that as many undocumented voters are allowed in as possible.

If conservatives point out the carnage caused by necessary policy remember to counter with the fact that they are racist and xenophobic. (See lessons 19 and 29)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 33:

Hypocrisy is a special word that defines the moral inconsistencies that liberals see in others.

Since there are no moral inconsistencies in liberal thought or applied philosophy, this word has no application in the description of liberals.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 34:

Liberals must bring all commerce in America to a screeching halt to achieve their Marxist/Progressive goals and purposefully limiting America’s energy supply is a means to that end:

'We have to figure out how to boost the price of gasoline to the levels in Europe'
Obama administration Energy Sec Steven Chu

Liberalism 101 Lesson 35:

Dissent is the exclusive domain of Liberal/Marxist/Progressives when opposing conservatives. It is to be glorified and canonized as our specific right in order to vilify our opposition.

Dissent of liberal dogma is, however, never, ever, under any circumstances whatsoever to be tolerated. (See lesson 20)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 36:

The US military is the home of undereducated peasant masses who are duped by conservatives into enlisting so that they can be sent off to illegal wars to maim, kill and rape innocent civilians.

That is unless they’re sent to war by an anti-war liberal president in which case they are being employed in a crusade for liberty and freedom that eclipses World War Two.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 37:

The Scientific method as practiced by scientists:

* Ask a Question
* Do Background Research
* Construct a Hypothesis
* Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment
* Analyze Your Data and Draw a Conclusion
* Communicate Your Results

The Scientific Method as practiced by Liberals:

* Identify a Problem for which You have a Collectivist Solution
* Find Celebrities to champion it
* Blame the Problem on your Opponents
* Test Your Hypothesis by the Extent to which it Demonstrates your Compassion and
Caring
* Raise Taxes to Fund Your Solution
* Wear the Right Colored Ribbon

Liberalism 101 Lesson 38:

It would be a crass injustice to make note that all liberals are reading comprehension challenged.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 39:

As liberals we must not allow the masses to be armed even though they claim it as a constitutional right.

The masses claim that if their guns are taken away from them then only criminals will have them. Little do they know that our aim is to have only one entity possessing fire arms, the state, and since it is the liberals destiny to control the state and thus the masses, this is a good thing.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 40:

It is from liberals only that the rights of the masses emanate. The silly notion that all rights are “endowed by the creator” is as passé as any notion that has sprung from a group of dead white slave owners. It is liberals who are possessed with the education and intelligence to not only confer rights but to identify what rights there may be, such as the right to an education, a home or healthcare. (See lesson 21)

Uber Dave

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Uber Dave and his Brilliant Satire Volume I (1-20)

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 1:

There is no amount of the money that you earn, but really belongs to the community, that liberals do not feel privileged to take.

There is no amount of the money that you earn, but really belongs to the community, that liberals are not indeed entitled to take.

If you scream because we have gotten to the point of squeezing blood from a turnip, then you are evil.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 2:

Government is here to help us.

If government, either local, state or federal spends more money than it rakes in, then that is to be corrected by government spending even more money because:

Government is here to help us.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 3:

If you are struggling under the weight of ever upward spiraling taxes and voice any complaint then you will be accused of not “caring” because, after all:

It’s for the children.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 4:

When liberals use the phrase “Founding Fathers” they are speaking of Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin, any mention of Washington, Jefferson or Madison will illicit derision or a blank stare.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 5:

Anything individualist is to be demonized loudly and forcefully.

Anything collectivist is to be praised and trumpeted.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 6:

If you expose the truth about liberals, you're a “hater”.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 7:

Liberals are exempt from making any sacrifice that impinges on their lifestyle or bank account.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 8:

If debating a conservative avoid the subject and engage in ad hominem attacks and straw man arguments.

If your opponent makes an irrefutable point accuse him of avoiding the subject and engaging in ad hominem attacks and straw man arguments.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 9:

Support unions and pay your dues so that the unions can donate your dues money to liberal politicians so that they can be elected and take your taxes and use them to support unions.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 10:

Absolutely anything that is without question bad for or destructive to America is to be advocated and supported by liberals because:

America is evil.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 11:

Any criticism of leftist dogma or the leaders who espouse it is to be characterized as “bigoted”, “hateful” or “racist”.

“Xenophobic” applies as well if the criticized dogma happens to be our necessary opened borders policy. (See lesson 32)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 12:

Any spending by conservatives must be “paid” for through ever increasing taxation, most especially if it is constitutionally mandated.

Any spending by liberals is to be accepted by the peasant “masses” and will be boundless. “Paid for” is replaced by “damn the cost, full spend ahead!”

Liberalism 101 Lesson 13:

Liberals are allowed 500 different media outlets to promote their destructive agenda. They are allowed to do things that as much as constitute throwing presidential elections with impunity.

Conservative media outlets, though they number not one tenth of liberal media outlets, are to be excoriated for merely existing.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 14:

Racism can be blamed on anything and everything, especially anything and everything conservative because:

America is racist.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 15:

Liberals calling a black person who has escaped the liberal plantation an “Uncle Tom”, “Porch Monkey”, “House Niggah” or any other form of racial epithet is definitely NOT racist.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 16:

There is literally nothing that cannot be blamed on Global Warming (warning, Global Warming is the exclusive property of Leftist Propaganda Inc.)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 17:

Distort, bend, fold and staple the truth, after all:

By any means necessary means by ANY means.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 18:

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is definitely NOT insanity as it has been erroneously defined.

It is what liberals call “sound economic policy”.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 19:

There is no exaggerating the importance of liberals and our quest to “fundamentally change” America into a Marxist utopia.

The hoi palloi must be made to know who their betters are for without liberals they will never be able to grasp what is good for them.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 20:

It is incumbent that all tolerate what liberals say must be tolerated in the name of tolerance.

But the intolerance of liberals is to be tolerated by those who cannot abide it.

Uber Dave

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