Uber Dave and His Brilliant Satire Volume Volume III (41-61)

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
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Liberalism 101 Lesson 41:

Liberals are to keep “the rich” under constant assault and any defense of them by conservatives is to be deemed “reactionary”. As the song says: “Tax the rich, feed the poor, ‘til there are no rich any more”. (See lesson 1)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 42:

The default mode of liberals in times of war:

Run to Canada.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 43:

As liberals our work to create a Marxist utopia requires an allegiance with nefarious minions sent out to do our dirty work who are universally known as "useful idiots".

We apologize for that necessity but take heart; we all know the fate of the useful idiots once the work is complete.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 44:

Bigot is a word liberals use to define those who refuse to toe our Politically Correct line. What we define as correct is to be adhered to robotically without exception.

Any liberal’s tendency towards apparent bigotry such as our incessant vilification of Christianity is indeed not bigotry since, as in the word hypocrisy, it is not applicable to liberals or our dictates. (See lesson 31)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 45:

Liberals may seem impervious to facts but that is not so, since there are no absolutes, we have the all-knowing intelligence and education to conjure our own facts.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 46:

The lie is a TOOL to liberal leaders who use them at their convenience for the purpose of GAINING, MAINTAINING AND PREPETUATING POLITICAL POWER. In fact the lie has so many forms that to be exact there is indeed a TOOL BOX from which they pull a specific tool for any specific situation as required.

DECEPTION, DISINFORMATION, DISTORTION, EVASION, FALSIFICATION, FRAUDULENCE, INACCURACY, LIBEL, MISREPRESENTATION, OBFUSCATION, SUBTERFUGE and VILIFICATION populate the toolbox and liberal leaders must educate our minions in their use.

Liberals must take special note of obfuscation in their work towards a Marxist/Progressive America. Accusing conservative obstructionists of being guilty of some of the very same and necessary things we do in our quest keeps them off balance and on the defensive.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 47:

Fairness is the major driving force in Liberal/Progressive/Marxist ideology.

If anyone is possessed of a means of defense it is unfair to those who would take his other possessions to be thwarted by said means of defense since it is unfair that those who would take those possessions from others are deprived of possessions of their own and therefore are forced to take the others possessions so as to equalize the distribution of possessions in order to be fair.

Liberals alone are the ones with the intelligence and education to determine what is and is not fair. (See lesson 30)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 48:

Liberals have long established that there must be a scorched earth policy regarding strong opposition, most especially if that opposition threatens power Liberal/Marxist/Progressives already have seized.

The importance of our quest to fundamentally change America from a constitutional republic to a Marxist utopia is so great that we must not only defeat strong opposition at the ballet box, but we must also destroy such opposition so completely that the obstructionists can never run again.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 49:

When liberals pass bills in congress they are to be given titles that will keep the peasant class subdued.

A classic is our often used “jobs bill”. Although this is meant to sound pleasing to the riff-raff masses so that we can go about our business of fundamental change undisturbed it also has the further use of not only paying off unions and political allies but expanding the scope and size of government as well. (See lessons 21, 19, 9 and 2)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 50:

Liberals must always characterize their necessary expansion of the government and the bureaucrats it creates as kind people who toil in public service. But we must obscure the fact that multiple layers of bureaucracy tends to serve the public poorly.

If the peasant class complains about such pitifully poor service as bureaucrats have become infamous for then we must admonish them for not valuing public service.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 51:

The “poor” are only what liberals classify them as, they may have two cars, a large house with multiple TV sets or whatever, it is our task to both deem them poor and to keep them perpetually poor and to create as many poor out of the middle class as we can despite our having spent trillions on them in the past and our intent on relieving taxpayers of trillions more to spend on the poor.

Note that in relieving the peasant class of the trillions it takes for us to equalize distribution of wealth to the poor makes even more people poor which is our ultimate goal.

The purpose has never been with compassion for the poor but with malice toward the peasant class. The purpose has always been to expand the state by making ever more people dependent on it and to have access to an enormous revenue stream that enables us to siphon off large sums to help elect more liberals in our quest to expand the state.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 52:

Thou shalt print endless amounts of graven images when thou hast spent all thy treasure (See 21)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 53:

“Shared sacrifice” is a term liberals use to justify relieving the peasant class of their earnings.

Its use is for shaming the peasant rubes into shouldering the burden of even more confiscation of their earnings than they already endure because liberals need to spread around those earnings for a higher purpose. (See lesson 1)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 54:

Homosexuals are deviants who have been given a most favored status by liberals so as to cause a spreading of deviancy throughout society. This in turn will lead to a breakdown of society and pave the way for the fundamental change to a Marxist Progressive utopia.

Once the fundamental change has taken place homosexuals will be sent to Gulags as “undesirables” since their detriment to society will have been made apparent. (See lesson 43)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 55:

If a result can be derived via common sense, the Liberal will claim that it is too simplistic.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 56:

The notion of “self-governance” is as old and out dated as the tattered document concocted by dead white slave owners.

We live now in a new world where men of science and education hold the keys to a brighter future in Progressivism and to allow under educated bumpkin’s to have any say in their own governance will only delay our Progressive goals unnecessarily.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 57:

“Private property rights” are yet another tired abstraction that is at odds with the liberals progressive ideal. Property whether cash, land, structures, vehicles or whatever cannot be seized by the state for the purpose of advancing Progressive policy if yokels are possessed by the notion that such property is theirs by some vague “right”

It should be well known that all property belongs to the state where people who transcend rights by dent of their natural superiority best know who to relieve of those “rights” so that they can be bestowed on the more deserving.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 58:

Ruling class/country class as has been coined has its merits since we are destined to rule because of our natural moral and intellectual superiority.

Country class, however, does not quite hit the mark though. We are considering:

Redneck class, bumpkin class, clodhopper class, hayseed class, hick class, hillbilly class, and yokel class. When we come to a decision as to which best suits our purpose we will inform.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 59:

Liberals must maintain power at all costs and to that end the subsidy is one of our primary tools.

The subsidy is used primarily as a bribe to industry to produce things that nobody wants but that liberals deem useful. The subsidized industries can then use the subsidy to hire lobbyists and to donate to Liberal/Marxist/Progressive political candidates so that they can get more subsidies.

Subsidies have the added benefit of being tempting to the political opponents of we Liberal/Marxist/Progressives to use for the same reasons, allowing us to demonize them as hypocrites. (See lesson 33)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 60:

Neocon is a term liberals use to brand conservatives as not really conservative when in fact we are opposed to any kind of conservatism anywhere.

Branding someone a Neocon is a sure way to confuse and confound the peasant masses that support conservative politicians. We must do all we can to block the peasant rubes from supporting those who might dismantle the progress we have made towards a brighter utopian future.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 61:

Liberal politicians are the water carriers of Ruling class/Marxist/Progressive policy and must be protected at all costs given the importance of the fundamental change liberals seek to correct America’s evil and abusive bigoted, hateful, racist and xenophobic history.

Peasant rabble may rise up from time to time if our political leaders take advantage of the perks that liberals are rightfully due or because they fail to grasp the need for fundamental change.

But like a herd of cattle the peasant rabble are stupid and easily led by the nose. We need only change the subject; say what we are doing is “for the children” or hunker down and wait for them to forget.

Never under any circumstance are we to admit to wrong doing for nothing in the pursuit of a Marxist/Socialist/Progressive utopia can ever be considered wrong.

Uber Dave

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