Uber Dave and his Brilliant Satire Volume I (1-20)

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong, is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 1:

There is no amount of the money that you earn, but really belongs to the community, that liberals do not feel privileged to take.

There is no amount of the money that you earn, but really belongs to the community, that liberals are not indeed entitled to take.

If you scream because we have gotten to the point of squeezing blood from a turnip, then you are evil.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 2:

Government is here to help us.

If government, either local, state or federal spends more money than it rakes in, then that is to be corrected by government spending even more money because:

Government is here to help us.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 3:

If you are struggling under the weight of ever upward spiraling taxes and voice any complaint then you will be accused of not “caring” because, after all:

It’s for the children.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 4:

When liberals use the phrase “Founding Fathers” they are speaking of Karl Marx, Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin, any mention of Washington, Jefferson or Madison will illicit derision or a blank stare.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 5:

Anything individualist is to be demonized loudly and forcefully.

Anything collectivist is to be praised and trumpeted.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 6:

If you expose the truth about liberals, you're a “hater”.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 7:

Liberals are exempt from making any sacrifice that impinges on their lifestyle or bank account.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 8:

If debating a conservative avoid the subject and engage in ad hominem attacks and straw man arguments.

If your opponent makes an irrefutable point accuse him of avoiding the subject and engaging in ad hominem attacks and straw man arguments.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 9:

Support unions and pay your dues so that the unions can donate your dues money to liberal politicians so that they can be elected and take your taxes and use them to support unions.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 10:

Absolutely anything that is without question bad for or destructive to America is to be advocated and supported by liberals because:

America is evil.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 11:

Any criticism of leftist dogma or the leaders who espouse it is to be characterized as “bigoted”, “hateful” or “racist”.

“Xenophobic” applies as well if the criticized dogma happens to be our necessary opened borders policy. (See lesson 32)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 12:

Any spending by conservatives must be “paid” for through ever increasing taxation, most especially if it is constitutionally mandated.

Any spending by liberals is to be accepted by the peasant “masses” and will be boundless. “Paid for” is replaced by “damn the cost, full spend ahead!”

Liberalism 101 Lesson 13:

Liberals are allowed 500 different media outlets to promote their destructive agenda. They are allowed to do things that as much as constitute throwing presidential elections with impunity.

Conservative media outlets, though they number not one tenth of liberal media outlets, are to be excoriated for merely existing.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 14:

Racism can be blamed on anything and everything, especially anything and everything conservative because:

America is racist.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 15:

Liberals calling a black person who has escaped the liberal plantation an “Uncle Tom”, “Porch Monkey”, “House Niggah” or any other form of racial epithet is definitely NOT racist.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 16:

There is literally nothing that cannot be blamed on Global Warming (warning, Global Warming is the exclusive property of Leftist Propaganda Inc.)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 17:

Distort, bend, fold and staple the truth, after all:

By any means necessary means by ANY means.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 18:

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is definitely NOT insanity as it has been erroneously defined.

It is what liberals call “sound economic policy”.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 19:

There is no exaggerating the importance of liberals and our quest to “fundamentally change” America into a Marxist utopia.

The hoi palloi must be made to know who their betters are for without liberals they will never be able to grasp what is good for them.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 20:

It is incumbent that all tolerate what liberals say must be tolerated in the name of tolerance.

But the intolerance of liberals is to be tolerated by those who cannot abide it.

Uber Dave

Uber Dave Volumes:

---

NOTE: To share or email this 'Specific' article, you must click on the Title of the article.

---