Uber Dave and His Brilliant Satire Volume VI (104-123)

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Douglas Adams

Liberalism 101 Lesson 104:

When Liberal/Progressive/Socialists use the phrase “pro-growth” we are speaking of the expansion of a monolithic government leviathan, not the “private sector” where the growth of filthy rich greedy capitalists must be curtailed.

Expanding government is the wisest investment of Amerika’s money because as mentioned earlier only Liberal/Marxist/Progressives have the education and university laboratory experience to spend the peasant rabbles money wisely. (See lesson 30)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 105:

As lesson 40 states in part:

“It is liberals who are possessed with the education and intelligence to not only confer rights but to identify what right there may be, such as the right to an education, a home or healthcare.”

The right to healthcare is paramount because it sets the stage for Liberal/Marxist/Progressives to seize an enormous slice of the so called “private sector” and massively expand the only entity which has the ability to make the healthcare system properly function (government) and it has the added benefit of snatching power from the greedy clutches of rich white capitalists.

Our government is where all rights descend to the peasant rubes who should be eternally grateful to Liberal/Progressive/Socialists for granting them whatever crumbs they receive to make their miserable lives tolerable.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 106:

Mainstream Amerika is mirrored by Hollywood celebrities who reflexively support Liberal/Progressive/Socialists all important investment initiatives and necessary exponential government expansion.

When an over paid actor plays the part of a farmer or cop or whatever it gives them credibility when they pontificate on the needs of hayseed, hick, hillbilly rustics who populate fly-over country.

The ditzy starlets’ and Hollywood hunks celebrity status blinds the simpleton masses with star power glitter and makes Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy much more palatable.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 107:

When, as so often happens, the plans and schemes implemented by Liberal/Marxist /Progressives go awry, we must always be prepared to cover our tracks and shift the blame to the toothless, conservative obstructionists.

Progressive policy is meant to press progress forward, and whatever the minor inconvenience of the effectuation of well-meaning policy that fizzles in the light of the real world must be obscured so that new policy can replace old so that Progressive policy can press progress forward.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 108:

It is axiomatic in party politics that Statist/Socialist/Progressives infiltrate the party of the redneck, rube obstructionists since corrupting from within in one of the things we do best.

Because much of our policy is based on feel good platitudes it is easy to turn many of the sandbagging simpletons in the opposition party to our favor so as to bind ever more of the peasant masses to the all-encompassing State.

We then get the luxury of adulterating the opposition as well as demonizing them concomitantly.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 109:

Have we Statist/Socialist/Progressives failed to mention our necessary open borders policy and the need to paint hillbilly, peasant, rustic, rural, rube obstructionists as racist, xenophobic, necrophobic and opposed to immigration whenever they bleat and wail about “illegal” immigrants?

Were we remiss in crowing and celebrating a fellow traveler activist judge who allowed the signatures of Mickey Mouse and Santa Clause etc. on a petition opening the door for ever more undocumented voters?

Have we overlooked any opportunity to stand four square against any form of verifying the validity of undocumented voters and the purging of voter registration rolls of deceased voters and then rub conservative’s noses in it?

…Our bad.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 110:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives live and die by the poll, we are always waiting with baited breath to see what redneck, yokel, rube masses believe. That is unless they dare to think on their own and ignore our Main Stream News Media indoctrinators.

When the hoi polloi buy into the “lies” and “propaganda” (see lesson 46 and obfuscation) of the obstructionist regressives we must counter them with all of our might. One of the best ways to do this is to immediately attack the poll and its results, no matter if we were spending days prior touting this poll or that, we must savage such polls as meaningless and ignorant.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 111:

Liberal/Progressive/Socialists are charged with painting hayseed, hick, hillbilly obstructionist rubes with the broad brush of “extremist”, note the proliferation of phrases like “extreme right” or “hard right” in the writings of our Main stream Media propagandist kommrads when referencing toothless, knuckle dragging conservatives.

At the same time, also note the absence of “extreme left” or “hard left” from those identical sources. Under no circumstances are we to allow the peasant rubes to turn the tables on us for as we all know left is the natural course of all things political. It is our destiny to rule over the peasant masses and what is natural cannot be considered extreme.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 112:

Liberal/Progressives have coveted the government healthcare of Socialist countries for decades. We’ve done our damnedest to foist it on the hayseed, hick, rustic, yokel obstructionists who have resisted our herculean efforts at every turn.

We have simply picked a facet of socialism which can tug at the heartstrings of the hoi polloi and confuse them into allowing the camel’s nose under the tent. We cannot rest on our laurels when we’ve triumphed with socialized healthcare since the idea is to usurp control of every aspect of the lives of Amerikas simpleton masses.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 113:

In the 1960's Liberal/Progressive/Socialists put as many of Amerika's families on the dole as possible, replacing fathers with a check from the Government and fracturing families. We increased taxes on those we did not put on the dole forcing stay at home mothers to work to make up the loss of income that the taxes represented creating "latch key kids" and fracturing families.

In the 1970's Liberal/Progressive/Socialists demonized corporal punishment and promoted "No Fault" divorces, fracturing families and threatening them if they dared to discipline their children.

In the 1980's Liberal/Progressive/Socialists created the "Year of the Child" and promoted their "Self Esteem" whether or not the children had done anything worthy of esteem.

Now, decades later, when you see the cretins that Liberal/Progressive/Socialist policy has turned Amerika's children into, remember that we did it "for the children".

Isn’t it nice to know that halfwit lefties like X.J. can be an inspiration?

Liberalism 101 Lesson 114:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives see the constitution of the United States as what we call a “living, breathing document”. This is a cover we use for molding and shaping the constitution for our own ends for as we all know it was written by dead white slave owners over 200 years ago and none of it applies to the modern nirvana that Liberal/Progressive/Socialists seek to create to improve the lives of all Amerikans.

It is for the purpose of expanding the power and reach of the federal leviathan that Liberal/Marxist/Progressives seek to populate the Supreme Court and all of its lower federal court system with as many of our fellow travelers as we can so that they can find whatever Liberal/Progressive/Socialists need to negate the constitution emanating from its penumbra.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 115:

SUPPLY-SIDE ECONOMICS, for Liberal/Marxist/Progressives, overcoming this evil is the key to making Amerika whole and good again! Heaven forefend that under educated, hayseed, hick, rustic, yokel bumpkin’s be allowed any more than a stipend to get by with since their share of the shared sacrifice has been determined to be equal to whatever excess they have jingling in their pockets.

We know they would only spend that excess on guns, cigarettes and over-sized soft drinks and it is our mission to tax and regulate the peasant rubes in order to keep them from harm. Statist/Socialist/Progressives must insure the creation of a COMMAND ECONOMY so that the purchasing power and purchasing choices of the simpleton masses can be limited to what we deem should be allowed.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 116:

It is helpful to the cause of Statist/Socialist/Progressives to invoke the myths of the peasant rubes in order to manufacture benevolence to fit our goals. When we make the claim that we rob from the rich to give to the poor like Robin Hood or that Marxism is a form of Christian charity, it masks as compassion the malevolence we have toward all of the lowly oafs who are unfit to wipe our shoes.

What grand irony it will be when Liberal/Marxist/Progressives put in place the final measure of control and replace feeble, mythical deities with the Great God of Government even while the simpleton masses and useful idiots view it as “feel good” compassion.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 117:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives believe wholeheartedly in furthering a young person’s education (indoctrination) but the cost of a college education is very high, courses in basket weaving, Marxist theory, Gay History and Women’s Studies are as costly as they are important. But having Amerika’s young people work their way through college is as passé as a smoking section in a restaurant.

But since there is nothing unworthy of federal largess Statist/Socialist/Progressives will endeavor to create a myriad of subsidies for young college students just as we do for everything else. One of these subsidies is the “government guaranteed loan” but as with all such guarantees it is only meant to guarantee that simpleton, mouth breathing, peasant, rube taxpayer’s will wind up holding the bag.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 118:

When Statist/Socialist/Progressives are rejoicing, it is an ironclad guarantee that it is because another measure of the under educated, rube, simpleton, mouth breathing, peasant, hayseed, hick, rustic, yokel bumpkin’s precious “liberty” has been destroyed.

As we all know liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 119:

Liberal/Marxist/Progressives will always and consistently invoke the name of Adolph Hitler and his fascist cronies when arguing with hayseed, hick, rustic obstructionists, most especially if it appears that we are being made fools of in such an argument.

Never mind that we were once fellow traveler’s of the National Socialists and that there is not the slightest difference between our goals and theirs.

It is just a simple fact of life that two totalitarian regimes cannot co-exist.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 120:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives feign enormous compassion for the peasant rube masses when in fact we loathe them. The simple minded masses are in fact wholly incapable of any capacity to provide for themselves and so we have created a massive and exponentially growing government Nanny to look after them as one would a petulant, retarded child.

Our Soviet and Maoist ancestors eliminated millions of their peasant class through the expedient of the point of a gun but with the stalled disarming of America’s simpleton rubes we must tread lightly until we have achieved success.

In the mean time we will have to make do with aborting their off spring and forcing them into a State controlled “health” system where bureaucrats will let them twist in the wind and rot until they die. That way there will be fewer of them to deal with by the time we have completed disarming them and our Gulags and re-education camps are up and running.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 121:

As Liberal/Marxist/Progressives a part of our task in promoting and achieving our Stalinist/Maoist goals is to obfuscate and mask our intent as well as equate malevolence with benevolence.

Just as we must invoke the myths of the peasant rubes in order to manufacture benevolence to fit our goals and thus baffle the simpleton masses, we must also invoke European “Socialist Lite” as if the Statist/Socialist/Progressives over there have never used incrementalism as a path to the Worker’s Paradise”.

A Soviet Amerika via French Socialism is still a Soviet Amerika. (See lesson 116)

Liberalism 101 Lesson 122:

The peasant rube obstructionists are the personification of evil, as Liberalism 101 Lesson 1 states:

“If you scream because we have gotten to the point of squeezing blood from a turnip, then you are evil.”

Peasant rube obstructionist’s unwillingness to pay for preferred Liberal/Marxist/Progressive investment initiatives converts them into the so called “freeloaders” whom the rustics in flyover country abhor, through the simple expedient of instructing our useful idiot minions to repeat the assertion ad nauseum.

The simpleton class is easily confused and turning the tables on their rhetoric is a perfect way to baffle them.

Liberalism 101 Lesson 123:

Statist/Socialist/Progressives have long ago usurped conservation and transformed it into Environmentalism, a vehicle for implementing Liberal/Marxist/Progressive policy under the rubric of keeping the environment clean.

Despite our best effort though, several of our Liberal/Progressive/Socialist leaders have let slip that fact and Amerika’s obstructionist redneck conservative simpletons have mined quotes from our stalwart leaders to use as a cudgel to hammer us and stall our efforts to eliminate the human infestation that threatens our Mother Earth.

But the simplest method of retaliation against the rustic rabble is to accuse them of being against clean air and water.

Uber Dave

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